Blog 2: Marie Kondo Your December!
Why You Need to Toss the Holiday Guilt

Marie Kondo Your December: Why You Need to Toss the Holiday Guilt
The holidays are coming. And if you’re anything like me, you can already feel the itch.
It starts with Black Friday screaming "BUY ME" at every turn,
money jumping out of my wallet for things I don’t need. But the real cost isn't financial. It’s the calendar.
The dinners are already booking up, the drinks are flowing in excess, and the panic is setting in.
I love the gym. I love my routine. But at this pace? Keeping a healthy lifestyle feels like trying to hold onto a wet bar of soap.
And we all know what comes next. The inevitable crash. The shame-fueled "Detox." The dreaded Dry January. Aaaaaargh. The thought of fighting for a treadmill in a gym packed with New Year’s regret is already annoying me. ;-)
Why is this time of year so heavy for us?
It’s not just the food or the wine. It’s the pressure. It’s the gifting, the office parties where you have to laugh at jokes that aren't funny, the family gatherings where you slip back into old roles and patterns you thought or were hoping to have outgrown.
For the high-functioning Chameleons among us, December isn't a holiday. It’s the Olympics of People-Pleasing. And we are exhausting ourselves trying to win a gold medal in "Making Everyone Else Happy."
But what if we just… stopped?
What if, instead of swallowing the overwhelm, we decided to guard our energy like it was the last bottle of water in the desert? What if we said "no" to the things that weigh us down so we can actually say "yes" to ourselves?
I’m taking a page out of Marie Kondo’s book. Remember her?
The woman who taught us to hold up a t-shirt and ask: "Does this spark joy?"
I loved that show. As an ADHD-er, my brain is already a chaotic mess. I don’t need my environment to match it. Clutter eats the energy I desperately need for survival. So, I use her method on my closet every season.
If it doesn't spark joy, it goes. Simple.
So, why aren't we doing this with our lives?
Here is my challenge to you: Marie Kondo your December.
Use this metaphor to clean up your schedule.
Look at the coming weeks. Look at the obligations. Look at the people.
And ask the hard question:
"Does this event, this gift, or this person give me a spark of joy?"

Blog 1. Giving Birth to My German Book (And All the Messiness Follows):

Giving Birth to My German Book (And All the Messiness That Follows)The last few weeks have been a battle.My book, Hidden Addiction—which I, a non-native speaker, poured my soul into writing in English—has been translated into German. The first translation was done by a machine, and it felt just like that: sterile, cold, and robotic. The “soul” of the book, the very reason I wrote it, was gone.
So, I had to start over. A complete rewrite. I’ve been in the trenches, trying to give birth to this new version, Verborgene Sucht, in a way that feels honest and clearer.
The nights have been hard. I haven't slept properly in days. The night before last, the super full moon was so bright it lit up my entire bedroom, keeping me awake.Then, last night, I gave birth.It was a dream, but it felt overwhelmingly real. I was heavily pregnant—my belly big, firm, and round, my skin soft. I knew it was time. The labour was fast. And even though I was biologically missing the crucial equipment for the task, the baby boy just came. He was perfectly healthy, and I was flooded with the pure, fierce pride of a new father.But there was a catch.As he came out, he was accompanied by a lot of… shit. Small, solid turds, exactly like the ones Bowie, my Cockapoo, leaves for me to clean up.
I woke up just after midnight. A 45-year-old man, lying alone in the dark, having just dreamt of giving birth to a healthy boy surrounded by poop. What in the world was my subconscious trying to tell me?My first thought went to my bestie—she’s pregnant and due any day now. I’ve been texting her almost daily, “Still rolling?” Maybe she was in labour, and my highly sensitive self was somehow tapping into her experience?It was a long, broken night. This morning, I made my coffee, took my vitamins, and sat down at my computer. The dream wouldn't let me go. I opened my digital assistant and typed it all in.This was the interpretation:
Dreaming of a man giving birth is a powerful symbol of creation. It represents a new project, a new business, or a new part of your identity that you are bringing into the world.A “Healthy Boy” signifies that this new creation is strong, successful, and viable.
The “Mess” (the poop) is crucial. It means this new, wonderful creation is not “clean.” It is emerging from a difficult, “messy” situation, is tied to old baggage, or will require “dirty work” to clean up before it can truly thrive.
I had to stand up and walk away from the screen. I needed to catch my breath.Wow. Just, wow.The “healthy boy” is Verborgene Sucht. The painful, manual rewrite. The work I've been in labor with.
And the “mess”? The “dirty work”? That’s the reality of what this book costs. It’s the raw, painful fallout from telling my truth. It's the fact that my parents and I are still not talking, even after several attempts at reconciliation. Not only that, but it’s the very core of the new book I'm already planning: The Messiness that Follows.
The dream didn't lie. The birth was messy. It was surrounded by shit.
But here’s the thing: The baby was healthy.Today is a new day. A baby boy has been born, and his name is Verborgene Sucht.I am proud. I feel strong. And I am ready to clean up the shit.If you are interested in this journey, the original English version of Hidden Addiction and the new German Verborgene Sucht are both available. Check the link in my bio.Love, MarcusP.S. My pregnant friend still hasn't answered my text. So maybe… just maybe… she’s having her baby girl at the exact same time I gave birth to my new German boy.

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